tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48034205273933890432024-03-07T20:47:09.743-08:00'TILThings I Learned -
Things I Love -
Things I Lost -
Things I've Lived -
by Sean McGINNIS -
Thoughts, lessons, musingsblog profilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150469222722228948noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420527393389043.post-33943437473993276322013-03-28T04:46:00.000-07:002013-03-28T04:46:02.270-07:00The main struggle of being an artist<div style="text-align: center;">
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reflections on "success"</div>
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from my art blog</div>
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<a href="http://mcginnisfr.blogspot.fr/2013/03/coming-clean.html">coming clean</a></div>
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<a href="http://mcginnisfr.blogspot.fr/2013/03/a-reply-to-my-coming-clean.html">a reply</a></div>
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<a href="http://mcginnisfr.blogspot.fr/2013/03/the-next-day.html">the next day</a></div>
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<a href="http://mcginnisfr.blogspot.fr/2013/03/the-dam-breaks.html">the dam breaks</a></div>
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<a href="http://mcginnisfr.blogspot.fr/2013/03/follow-up-to-follow-up-report-card.html">the report card</a></div>
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blog profilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150469222722228948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420527393389043.post-39898146906891956262013-03-28T04:38:00.002-07:002013-03-28T04:39:37.920-07:00a post of mine from facebook transfered here<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Reader Warning : if you don't like political, religious, or personal comments on Facebook, then don't read any further.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">In light of the discussions that have come up around the Supreme Court hearing arguments about homosexual issues the last couple of days, something became clear to me.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">The people who already have well defended rights are not the owners of those rights and so therefor can dispense them to others whom they deem worthy. They are not their rights to give, just because they already benefit from having them. Rights are not an exclusive club that you gain membership to because you know a member and that member will recommend you to the board.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">The impression of having to ask the very people who don't think I should have those rights for permission to have those rights, to have to justify against their prejudices towards me why my right to rights supersedes their opinion of whether they think I qualify for them or not is not only insulting but degrading.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I qualify because I am human. Because those rights are my rights by birth : to define for myself who I am, what I want, what I know to be right for me, free from the opinions of others. I do not have to first prove that who I want to be is acceptable to everyone or even a majority of everyone, before I can be given the rights. I have to prove it to no one but myself (and to my maker). (and) I have the right to be wrong.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">If there is a god, I will have to face him myself, alone. I was given a mind, a heart, a soul, so that I can weigh those things for myself. I believe that God doesn't make mistakes, and that he loves each of us exactly the way he created us. It is for each of us to listen deeply to ourselves, for the truth that is within us, to uncover that truth and to bring it forth to the world. Whether another human agrees or not has no relevance. I will not stand before any of you at the end. I will stand before that which made me. I am completely at peace with that even though I make HUGE mistakes. I have always strived to do what is right by myself and by others. I do not believe that I will be judged for being perfect or not, but for having done the best I could with what I was given. In the end, to discover love for myself, in the true understanding of who I really am, because true love for "other" comes after discovering love of self.</span></span>blog profilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150469222722228948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420527393389043.post-18045291262845427822013-01-07T11:31:00.001-08:002013-01-07T11:32:06.453-08:00The meaning of life...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">After years of searching for the true meaning of life, I finally have come to the conclusion that there isn't any. The universe is completely and utterly neutral. It simply is. There is only that which we bring to it. If we want there to be good, we have to be the good. If we want there to be love, we have to be the love. Joy... Peace... We are the meaning of life, if we chose to be. There isn't already one out there waiting for us to adhere to, to discover, to understand. We have to bring it out of ourselves as a voluntary act of creation. A choice.</span><br />
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Extension<br />
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and I<br />
have<br />
a love<br />
for you<br />
as deep<br />
and as sweet<br />
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as a cool lake<br />
under a mountain's wait<br />
and a hatred as dry<br />
and scorched as<br />
desert bones<br />
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vast and calm -<br />
the edges of how<br />
far I extend, when<br />
I close my eyes<br />
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never so limitless<br />
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and a damp northwind<br />
across a flat unknown<br />
terrain<br />
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Sean McGINNIS<br />
oct 1999blog profilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150469222722228948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420527393389043.post-29788248182756250412012-04-19T11:32:00.001-07:002012-04-19T11:50:12.672-07:00Mantra for today<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">There is a certain amount of common wisdom that humans are either rational or they are emotional. Intellectual or feeling. And for a long time in our common history, intellect was considered the "better" of the two. (See : The Age of Reason - it's even written in capitals) (I don't recall their being an "Age of Feeling." Maybe there should be. - just thinking out loud :)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">I propose that there is a third and more important element, that, when accessed, supersedes these two. Call it intuition or experience. I call it "body knowing," because I feel it in my stomach, in my bones. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">The number of times I have gotten myself into all kinds of trouble because "I thought that..." (you can even get a lot of people to agree or disagree with you, when you come from this place). The intellect can be fooled and be off-base all the while looking completely like it is right - and can defend its position.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">I am a very very emotional person, and my emotions have gotten me into more trouble than I can tell you. Knee-jerk reactions, hurt feelings, anger, even passion and happiness. And from there, my reactions to my intense emotions almost always made things worse for me. Not to mention that most emotional reactions come from my inner child of three years old or from family or from cultural patterns that don't really have anything to do with me. I just pass them on, because that is the way it has always been. (And there is a great deal of comfort in the familiar, even the painful familiar). These reactions certainly don't come from my adult being.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">My gut feelings about situations or people are never wrong. When I hear the answer inside myself (apart from thoughts and feelings), it is always clear and sure. What is there is rarely easy to explain or justify (rationally) and it can make me <u>feel</u> uncomfortable, but there is a sureness in it. I "know."</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">The problem is that it's not always easy to hear it or to distinguish it from the "I know" of habit, thought or feeling, especially when I am "polluted" by emotion or am being positional.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">When I have listened to that voice in me, then things have turned out well. When I haven't, then situations have always gotten more complicated or painful or simply gone less smoothly.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #999999;">Note : Going to a calm/sure place inside myself, is the way I access this place in myself. Calming myself down, centering myself in my body, allows me to hear more clearly this truthful voice inside me. (<a href="http://til-sean.blogspot.fr/2012/04/til-01.html">See TIL 1 below</a> for learning the method I use) </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Left brain - right brain, right - wrong, feeling - reasoning, black - white, them - us, etc... they are all dychotomies and, for me, if it is an either/or siutation, then it all comes from the same place. It all is the same thing. Conflict, separation, suffering are all hallmark symptoms that one is coming from the world of dichotomy.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">For all my life I have been trying to understand a conflict, or an emotion or a problem, and hope by understanding it better that I will better be able to have influence over it, or, if I am honest with myself, have control over it. My experience though is that one doesn't resolve conflict by following conflict, one resolves problems by accessing a place where this conflict doesn't exist, to a place "outside" it, where this conflict doesn't matter, where it doesn't touch me, where it has no relevance and from there find a solution and bring it back to the situation, or simply realizing that the conflict is an illusion, a false conflict. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">From that place, I am free, truly free, even from my own opinions/feelings (see "right" above) which seem arbitrary and without meaning, once I am "centered." From there I can see the whole situation more clearly and without prejudice, therefore coming-up with solutions adapted to the problem and not just adapted to my neuroses.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">I have never been able to resolve a problem from the viewpoint of the problem. Doing so has only made the problem worse and given more energy to it. Solutions that come from there seem to always end-up being part of the problem. They often make things worse.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Arriving in this place, "being" here is new to me, and feels odd, because it doesn't have all the familiarity of my emotional landscape of the past. Gone are the land-mines the gail winds. But being here, coming from here, making my decisions from here, looking at the world from here, I can't see conflict. I can't see disappointment. Well, not exactly true. I see them but from a (safe) distance.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">It's like the happiness I felt before was a shadow or an impostor of what real happiness feels like, now that I have found it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">In realizing that I am alone here in myself, sounds like it would make me lonely, but loneliness disappears here. It doesn't have meaning. Time doesn't have meaning.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">For the first time in my life, I am not antsy and wishing I were somewhere else, someone else. I am where I am.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">I find myself laughing more. Listening more... Crying spontaneously more. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">And from here, even the events that triggered me into emotive reactions and habitual obsessive patterns just don't seem to have any importance. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">sometimes, I "rise" to the surface and start judging, wanting, feeling, (btw, all of these things don't go away, there are still there, I just am not locating myself in them. I am locating myself "beneath" them in a calmer surer place), and I can tell you, the suffering is right there as it always was. So now, I breath, bring myself back into my body, back into my core, and from that perspective, the suffering doesn't go away, but I'm simply not inside it, not using it as my place of reference.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #999999;">Note : I am not "against" thinking and feeling. They are not things to be gotten rid of. They are integral necessary parts of our make-up and functioning. I am only against the idea that they are the only reality and that all experience should be derived from them. One main reason, apart from the fact that, for me, this system doesn't work, is that if you use either feeling or intellect as a reference, then you are automatically prone to favor one over the other. We are all hardwired with different degrees of each. And in favoring one over the other, one inevitably makes oneself right and the other wrong. More division, more conflict, more suffering.</span><br />
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<br /></div>blog profilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150469222722228948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420527393389043.post-71709037509001236872012-04-05T12:19:00.001-07:002012-04-05T12:20:04.805-07:00TIL 02Thought of the day :<br />
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I can't control my emotions, but I do have control over myself and how I react to my emotions.blog profilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150469222722228948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420527393389043.post-35741535511299127942012-04-04T10:24:00.003-07:002012-04-04T13:07:21.693-07:00a poem<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">the ritual cigarette<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">seated facing the sound of
the waves<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">a long horizontal line<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">hunger<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">cool water in a plastic
bottle<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">evening<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">the inevitability of
wanting<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">the inevitability of<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">of joining<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">in sacred primitive
perfect union<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">entering<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">entered<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">contaminated<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">I am <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">all that I have lost</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #eeeeee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: xx-small;">©2012 </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">Sean McGINNIS</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;">20 04 12</span></div>
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<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>blog profilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150469222722228948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420527393389043.post-80021271054462507232012-04-04T09:58:00.004-07:002012-04-20T02:33:55.319-07:00TIL 01<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc; font-size: large;">Find a calm sure place inside yourself and go there often.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">(at least once a day)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">There are several ways to get there, but one of the easiest is to breath calmly and do a check of where you are physically. Start with your feet (for example) and feel them, then move up your body, checking your ankles, your calves, the muscles, the bones, if there is sensation in particular. The feel of your clothes, or the wind on your bare feet. Hot? Cold? Comfortable? Uncomfortable?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">No judgement, just check in with yourself. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Work your way up going through each part of your body, until you have reached your head, the hair on your head. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Then feel how you feel totally, all over.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Note what changes happen between before and after your doing this exercise. Did anything change? Do you feel different afterwards? How? Describe it to yourself. Did your breathing change in anyway? How about the way you feel?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">It's no more complicated than that.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">Try it. Let me know what you experience and what comes from trying it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">For me, it is a great way to deal with stress, or stressful thoughts, or panic. Even if doing this doesn't remove the unpleasant feeling completely, it can diminish it greatly for me.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;">If I feel unclear or unsure about something, doing this usually helps me see more clearly.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span><br />
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<br /></div>blog profilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150469222722228948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420527393389043.post-77687521288518420222012-04-04T09:57:00.000-07:002012-04-19T11:50:58.662-07:00TIL<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">T</span>hings<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"> I L</span>earned<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">T</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">hings</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I</span> L</span><span class="Apple-style-span">ove</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">T</span>hings <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I</span> <span class="Apple-style-span">L</span></span>ost</div>
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<br /></div>blog profilehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03150469222722228948noreply@blogger.com0